Dear Andrea, Alison and Tim,

After reading your question, Andrea, I jotted some words in my notebook, I wrote – ‘People unburden themselves with a kind of energy where each is elevated by the vitality of the exchange itself. Because something is required of each other, some measure of truth, of respect, of regard emerges. That we are heard, each of us, is the thing. The act of listening is perhaps the best we can do for each other.’ It was my first rough attempt to answer your question, but I decided to return to it later as I had been feeling out of sorts for a few days and was tired.

That evening, when I went back to look at the questions, as fate would have it, the first letter I read was yours, Alison and Tim, and it answered Andrea’s question better than I ever could. As I read it, all the disquiet and annoyance that I had been holding in my body for the last couple of days drained from me. The beautiful truth of your letter, its clarity, its humour, its dignity and its gratitude to the world, brought me back to myself. I felt your faith in the loveliness of life itself, and I heard, with both sadness and admiration, the voice of someone dying deep inside life, rather than away from it, with her husband by her side. How affecting it is to read something so spiritually eloquent, open-hearted and uncynical. I hold nothing but the highest regard for you both and I feel your love for each other, bright and alive, emanating from your words. I feel your love for me too and, well, that means something and I return that love with my whole heart. To witness the quiet courage you display in this life is a great privilege to us all. We are all deeply indebted. Please stay in touch.

Love, Nick