FORTY SHORTS TO BE GOING ON WITH 

Another Happy File-iversary! Such a tender, touching, well-inked year of fraught and funny issues 🐨. Just right for our gloomy, gorgeous times. Eight years of thanks, Dearest Nick!

Yay.

Will you have a rest now?
ELIZABETH, WESTCLIFF-ON-SEA, UK

Yes, Elizabeth, now that the tour is over I am going to step back for a couple of weeks and clear my head—less transmitting, more receiving—hang out with Susie, read some books, listen to Poulenc’s ‘Stabat Mater’ and maybe some Concrete Vehicles, eat Chinese food with friends, plant a couple of pear trees, play with Warren’s dogs, go to church, jump in a lake—all before sitting down in my office to write some lyrics for the next record. I’ll be back to The Red Hand Files soon, in the meantime here are forty shorts to be going on with.

How are you so goddamn good-looking?
LENNY, BERLIN, GERMANY

Twenty years of drug addiction and a good face cream.

Have you been baptized?
JOHN, DENVER, USA

Yes, many years ago.

I’m wondering what song you might choose to sing if you were ever faced with a Karaoke invitation?
CHRISTINA, TORONTO, CANADA

The last time I did karaoke was about forty years ago, in a Chinese restaurant in some remote part of Australia, with Tex Perkins from The Beasts of Bourbon. We were incredibly pissed and duetted ‘Killing Me Softly’ to a genuinely terrified crowd of diners.

What is your favorite Chinese dish to order at a restaurant?
SARAH, MONTREAL, CANADA

Prawns and cashews in black bean sauce with plain rice from The Minj (as we call it) in Kensington.

I am 17 years old and me and my dad are wondering why the hell White Lunar has not been released on vinyl, an epic album of wonderful music.
Cmon bro, white vinyl with grey swirls like the lunar surface, and can you and Warren do some signed copies when you release it?
Sorry to be such a demanding fan.
EAMONN, CAIRNS, AUSTRALIA

I put the idea to Warren and my team—everyone loved it! We’ve done so many more scores since the first White Lunar though, so we’re thinking a vinyl box set with your white and grey swirl discs. Beautiful! Eamonn, we’ll credit you with a ‘thank you’ when it happens.

Fuck you & fuck Isreal
MICHAEL, MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA

Daer Micheal, a raelly graet plaesure to haer from you again.

Have you ever met Leonard Cohen in person?
VOLKER, STUTTGART, GERMANY

No, but he emailed me soon after Arthur died. The email said, “I am with you, brother. LC.” I think he is with me still.

What does your necklace say?
ALEKSANDRA, LJUBLJANA, SLOVENIA

Susie

Do you ever have swollen ankles from performing?
MARCELINA, LĘDZINY, POLAND

No.

Your shadow on my home. I was inside the Arena not at home that night. Thank you for all the joy and for all the weeping!
MAŠA, PULA, CROATIA

When you climb onto and into the crowd, does anyone try to grab your junk?
WENDY, NORTH TURRAMURRA, AUSTRALIA

Only in Australia.

hello
TOM, LONDON, UK

go fuck yourself

What is your favourite music autobiography?
HAYLEY, HAMILTON, ON, USA

Straight Life by Art Pepper

My question is, have you ever seen a bat’s penis? It’s purple and bruised and I urge you to Google “bat penis” if not.
JABBA, LONDON, UK

Just Googled it. That’s one of the wonderful things about The Red Hand Files—you guys are always teaching me things.

Are you an ally to the queer community? Hearing you refer to Brighton’s queer pride as “the pride THING tomorrow” made me doubt that.
NIKOLAI, BERLIN, GERMANY

Nikolai, if you’re looking for enemies, you won’t find one here.

I came across a 1970 painting by Dutch artist Matthijs Röling (“The painter and his model”) that very much reminded me of your Push the sky away album cover. But I thought the likeness was amazing and wanted to let you know it exists.
AURENS, ARNHEM, THE NETHERLANDS

I didn’t know this painting—it’s amazing. I just showed it to Susie, and we are completely blown away by it.

What’s with the suit all the time? Don’t you ever just chill?
THOM, DUBLIN, IRELAND

Do you like Greece?
NICOS, ATHENS, GREECE

I fucking ❤️ Greece.

Are you mad at me? I’m the kid that got on stage during Red Right Hand in Pula night 1
ALI, PULA, CROATIA

Not even a little bit, Ali. You’re the best!

I’m taking a principled stand against Caves misguided decision to take a principled stand to perform in Israel by unsubscribing from the red hand files and will also remove all traces of his music from our house
LOUISA, PARKDALE, AUSTRALIA

Louisa, I hope it’s not too late, but I just wanted to say Parkdale isn’t too far from where my mother used to live, bless her. There’s a second-hand record shop nearby called Spin Vinyl. I’m sure they’ll take your Nick Cave records. And if you ever have a change of heart, no hard feelings, we’ll still be here. We’re not going anywhere.

How do you feel about the new prime minister Andy Burnham’s attitude to turning the United Kingdom into a country to be proud of again?
DAVID, HOVE, UK

Personally, I already feel proud of and very grateful to the United Kingdom.

why didn’t you take susie’s last name and become nick bick
JAY, NEW YORK, USA

I suggested that to Susie but she wouldn’t have it.

Hello, I still think #369 was one of the funniest things I’ve ever read, don’t let the critics get you down.
It might be an Australian humour thing…
AMANDA, SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA

Totally, the first thing we Aussies realise when we travel abroad is that outside of Australia we’re not funny.

It seems like hanging out with L7 was one of the few things you enjoyed about Lollapalooza 1994.
AUSTIN, ATLANTA, USA

L7 were the best. A great band and true friends. Irrepressible and beautiful and pure fun. We loved them. Love them still. God bless Jennifer Finch.

Why can men be such WANKERS at times?
FRITHA, CHRISTCHURCH, NEW ZEALAND

I don’t know, I’m mostly koala 🐨.

Why do you identify with koala bears? [ ]
COLEMAN, CHICAGO, USA

Because they are fluffy on the outside and pure evil within.

This week, I managed to get to the incredible Anish Kapoor exhibition at the Hayward Gallery. In relation, Mount Moriah at the Gate of the Ghetto, it appears Kapoor has said: “I believe deeply that we are religious beings, that we carry within ourselves the mystery, the masked fear that sits behind the ritual act – the fear of death.” I’d love to hear what you think.
KERRY, READING, UK

I agree with Mr. Kapoor that we are all religious beings, but, if I understand him correctly, I don’t agree that this is because we fear death. I believe we are religious beings because, on some fundamental level, we recognise, whether we like it or not, that God exists.

Somehow, it feels like you’ve written/composed your Divine Comedy with Skeleton Tree, Ghosteen and Wild God. Do you relate to this idea?
LUCAS, NANCY, FRANCE

Absolutely, but it wasn’t intentional.

You are not allowed to die
CHRISTOPH, COLOGNE, GERMANY

That’s basically the plan.

Cunt.
ANON, NOWHERE

Go fuck yourself.

What fragrance do you use?
EAU DE NICK, BRISBANE, AUSTRALIA

None.

You have collaborated with many, many gifted artists over the years. Who, in your opinion, has had the most impact on you, and who do you feel is or was the most gifted?
GERALD, TREDEGAR, UK

Warren.

Nick, I have recently reconnected with my true love almost two years after I broke both of our hearts. [ ] But I am brimming with fear that things will go wrong and that will utterly destroy us both. do I lower my shield and let myself love her the way I want to?
RAY, TORONTO, CANADA

Chill the fuck out, Ray. Love does not have to be an obliterating force. Be kind to each other. Look after each other. Things will be all right. Love is kind of easy.

When you stepped on my father, he saw you had glittery socks. Can you confirm or deny these allegations?
JAKOB, OSLO, NORWAY

Best ever opening sentence in a Red Hand File question. Confirmed.

“I don’t undress in front of my children.” (ISSUE #371)
You anglophones are such prudes.
KING CANUTE, DENMARK

You Danes can’t keep your fucking clothes on.

Nick, can you please ask Carly how is it, to be in a band with a bunch of old men?
BLANCA, TORONTO, CANADA

I did. She told me to tell you to go fuck yourself.

Hiya! I deeply appreciate your beautiful, strange and thoughtful mind, your words and your music. You’re one of the best creatures on Earth. Thank you for being you. Tell the Bad Seeds that they are incomprehensibly awesome, cool and legendary! Best wishes from the sixteen year old girl you gave the mic to not once but TWICE. My hands and soul are blessed. Could you sign my book?
MARNA, OSLO, NORWAY

Send me your email address, Marna, and we’ll sort it out.

No new tour until twenty twenty-nine. How will
you cope without us?
GRUO, OSLO, NORWAY

With great difficulty, but thankfully I have other touring plans outside of the Bad Seeds.

Do you ever just want to stop? I mean, stop the music, the touring, the interviews, the Nick Cave, and just be your deep-down self. Let everything else just float away.
CHRIS, NEWPORT PAGNELL, UK

I’m often confused by the idea that being in the public eye is somehow false or inauthentic, or that I am not in touch with my deep-down self. Actually, I suspect my deep-down self is the music, the touring, the interviews. But I know what you mean, sometimes I get exhausted with myself and need to take time to do other things. I cook, I walk, I watch Netflix. Is the one who cooks and walks and watches Netflix the real me? I don’t know. I guess I’m going to find out. See you in a couple of weeks.

Love, Nick

(Arrow art by the beautifully bonkers John Geralis)