Issue #258 / October 2023
I overdosed a few months ago, ever since then it feels like I’ve hit my expiration date and my life is meaningless. Is it ever possible for me to connect to not only myself but to the world and people around me again?
ZARA, GRONINGEN, NETHERLANDS
I don’t know the circumstances of your overdose, but if it is related to drug dependency then in my experience people don’t usually overdose just once – they tend to overdose a couple of times, and then all too often die. With that in mind, my advice to you is to get clean.
One simple way to start doing this is to go to Narcotics Anonymous. If you persevere, in time you will have an entirely different problem – not that life is meaningless, but rather that life has almost too much meaning. As the scales fall from your eyes the world rushes into focus, presenting itself with a kind of vibrational eloquence that can, at first, be almost overwhelming. Everything shimmers, everything clarifies, everything wrestles for your attention. Trees feel super-real, their roots plunged into the earth, their branches stretching to the sky, birds are flesh and blood souls, fragile with life, the sky unfolds and rolls, the ocean crashes, people fascinate, books are beautiful, children are whirling dynamos of chaos, dogs bark and cats meow, flowers shout, your neighbour glows, and God runs like a helix through all things. The world awaits you, humming with meaning. You are alive with potential. You are not dead.
So, Zara, a few things you need to do. Stop fucking around and get your shit together. Get clean and don’t die.